Moving Past Church Conflict

Commit your way to the Lord, trust in him, and he will act. Psalm 37:5

It was one of those meetings that I did not really want to attend. But I did not have a choice. It was part of my job as a denominational leader. The meeting was to help a church overcome a very significant conflict that had resulted in the pastor being dismissed. As a result, a significant portion of the congregation had left the church. The remaining members were in a lot of pain. They were discouraged. They were frustrated. Unfortunately, this was not the first time that this church had something like this happen. Several years before a similar event had happened and it had taken years to overcome the fall out.

When a church goes through such a situation, one of the greatest challenges is the lack of trust. Hurt people don’t trust each other. Sometimes they don’t trust themselves because they feel like they may have said or done something that made the situation worse. Though they often don’t want to admit it, there is even a certain lack of trust in God.

I think this lack of trust is one of the greatest things to overcome in a church that has been hurt. Though each situation is different, it is appropriate to create healthy accountability systems in an attempt to keep such situations from happening again, but there is no way to create a system that guarantees the problem will not reemerge. People make mistakes. By-laws, church constitutions, policy manuals can help set boundaries, but in the end, they lack the power to make people do the right thing. At some point, we simply have to trust each other. And we must accept the reality that from time to time our trust might be violated. We must be determined not to let the occasional violation of our trust in someone at church become the context of our entire faith experience.

That is easy to say. It is hard to do.

The only way I know to do that is to keep our eyes on the Lord Jesus Christ. He is the only one who will never let us down. We must realize that the church is HIS church. He will build the church. He will make it what He wants it to be. If we focus on Jesus, it will help us move past the hurt and pain that sometimes comes with being a leader in the church.

Lord, help me focus on serving You and learn to release the pain that church conflicts have brought into my life. Help me be able to trust others again. Amen.

Dr. Terry W. Dorsett serves at the Executive Director of the Baptist Convention of New England. He has been a pastor, church planter, denominational leader and author in New England for more than 20 years. He is a happy husband, a proud father and adoring grandfather. He is a cancer survivor and believes that God works powerfully through times of suffering. He writes extensively and you can find all of his books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Dr.-Terry-W.-Dorsett/e/B00405U4NY

The Difference Between Pastors and Missionaries

Acts 1:8 “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come on you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.”

Missions. Just the word alone put images in our minds. For many people it means that someone leaves their home in the United States and goes to live in a grass hut in a Third World undeveloped country and eats monkey brains for breakfast every day. For other people it means a person must learn a foreign language so they can communicate with some exotic people group. 

But when I think about the word “missions,” I think more about the focus of one’s ministry, not the location of that ministry. To me missions means that we are focused on reaching non-believers with the gospel of Jesus Christ regardless of where they live, what language they speak, or what they eat for breakfast. We need far more missionaries than we currently have if we are to impact both our local community and the farthest corners of the earth for Christ.

I think being a missionary is different than being a pastor. Pastors primarily serve believers in the local church by equipping them to do ministry effectively. It is important work. We need more healthy effective pastors doing the work that pastors are supposed to do. Good pastors strengthen their local church and then that church is able to send out missionaries. They might send them across the street, to the next town, the next state, or to other countries. 

Missionaries focus on reaching lost people for Christ. That does not mean they do not disciple people or strengthen churches, that is just not their focus. Pastors focus on discipling believers. That does not mean they do not engage in missions, of course they do, that is just not their focus. For example, while a pastor is thinking of how he will lead another small group Bible study, a missionary is thinking about how he will reach another community with the gospel. One is not better than the other, it is just different. And both are needed. 

Sometimes missionaries become pastors. And sometimes pastors become missionaries. But most often, they discover a calling from God and remain in that primary calling for most of their ministry. We need both pastors and missionaries working in partnership to fulfill the Great Commission. We need lay people to support their pastors and to support the missionary programs that their church has set up. Both are needed and both need prayers, volunteers and funding. They should not be in competition, but in partnership together so that they whole world might hear the glorious gospel of Christ.

Lord, raise up pastors and missionaries to help lead the church to be all that You want it to be. Amen.

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Dr. Terry W. Dorsett serves at the Executive Director of the Baptist Convention of New England. He has been a pastor, church planter, denominational leader and author in New England for more than 20 years. He is a happy husband, a proud father and adoring grandfather. He is a cancer survivor and believes that God works powerfully through times of suffering. He writes extensively and you can find all of his books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Dr.-Terry-W.-Dorsett/e/B00405U4NY

Factual Truth

Proverbs 24:6 …. in the multitude of counselors there is wisdom.

I listened attentively to an acquaintance give a passionate speech on how he viewed a particular issue. While I agreed with his viewpoint, I grimaced as he provided his “proof” that his viewpoint was correct. He quoted several statistics that were very outdated. He gave numerous examples that have been proven by several different well known sources to be false. Though he spoke with great passion and incredible conviction, the factual inaccuracies of his speech took away all of his persuasive power. Finally, someone in the audience (who to the best of my knowledge also agreed with the speaker’s perspective) pointed out that his facts were out of date and that his examples were proven to be false. The audience member suggested the speaker update his presentation and then give it again at a later date. Instead of agreeing to look for new information to bolster his claims, the speaker doubled down on his presentation and said that that’s just the way he viewed the situation and he was sure that was how “everyone else who mattered” viewed it too. I left frustrated with my friend. I felt like he was wasting his passion and energy promoting the right idea in the wrong way. Clearly he would be much more persuasive if he listened to the advice of his audience and updated his facts and used accurate examples. But in his mind, since that was his viewpoint, then he was entitled to it and everyone else should just accept it. I doubt many people in the audience agreed with his conclusion.

Far too many of us are like my friend. We tend to have already decided what we believe before we do the research. We come up with our tweetable one liners and our quippy Facebook statuses and let them fly before we even hear what the facts are on any particular subject. And sometimes we keep using data that we know is outdated or incorrect just because it supports our perspective. This makes no sense to me. If something is the truth, then it will stand the test of facts, figures, illustrations and research. And if something is not true, I don’t want to be promoting it, even if it might bolster my opinion.

When we enter into a discussion with our minds made up before listening to anyone else’s thoughts or ideas, we court disaster. The Bible reminds us that in the multitude of counselors there is wisdom. That does not mean that we need a committee to vote on what is true. But it does mean that we might need other people to help us think through how that truth applies to our lives. No one person understands any single issue completely. We need each other to help us sort out the complex issues we face as a culture. That means we must listen with an open mind. It also means we have to use accurate facts and examples. We can’t make stuff up just to prove our point. We need honest open discussion and the hard work that goes along with that. But when we are willing to engage in that kind of hard work, the Holy Spirit can use our words to persuade many people to the cause of Christ.

Lord, help us to listen before we speak. When we do speak, help us be accurate in what we say, as well as persuasive in how we say it. Amen.

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Dr. Terry W. Dorsett serves at the Executive Director of the Baptist Convention of New England. He has been a pastor, church planter, denominational leader and author in New England for more than 20 years. He is a happy husband, a proud father and adoring grandfather. He is a cancer survivor and believes that God works powerfully through times of suffering. He writes extensively and you can find all of his books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Dr.-Terry-W.-Dorsett/e/B00405U4NY

Overcoming Leadership Mistakes

Philippians 2:3-4 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. 

Every so often we hear a sad story of another Christian leader exposed for doing something wrong. These are vivid reminders that even Christian leaders make mistakes. Such news is always disappointing. Such news has the potential to shake the faith of those who are trying to remain faithful to the Lord.

Should we really be surprised that human beings fail? Just because a person is in a leadership position does not make them immune to mistakes. If fact, if adequate accountability is not put into place, being a Christian leader can actually be a place of incredible temptation. One reason that we struggle so much when we hear one of those stories is because we have placed our faith in people instead of placing our faith in Jesus Christ. We must learn to separate our faith in God from our faith in people. The reality is that sometimes a pastor will lose his temper in a business meeting. He shouldn’t, but sometimes he will. Does that mean that all the work he has done as a pastor is suddenly null and void? Perhaps a missionary took more vacation time than he should have. Does that mean that all the churches he planted are suddenly invalid? Perhaps you learn that your favorite Christian professor has padded his resume by claiming to have written more scholarship articles than he actually did. Yes, that was wrong. However, it doesn’t mean that everything he ever taught in class or wrote in the articles that he did compose can now be tossed aside.

While I do think we should call out sin in leaders when it exists, we should also give people a lot of grace. After all, isn’t that what we would want if we were in their situation? Our goal should not be to destroy them or their ministries. Our goal should be to help them overcome their sinful weaknesses and serve the Lord even more effectively than they did in the past.

I remember years ago getting into an argument with a deacon. He and I wrote a series of escalating emails back-and-forth to each other. Finally, a different deacon came to see me. He was very loving, but also very firm. He helped me see my part in the problem. I learned to stop writing caustic emails, even if someone else wrote one to me. I also learned the value of offering a brother in Christ a genuine apology. The issue was resolved and I think I was a better pastor as a result.

The question is not “will we make a mistake.” The question is “we will learn from the mistakes that we do make.” Learning from our mistakes actually helps our error become a testimony to the power of God to change our lives. But when we ignore our mistakes, or when we hide our sin and refuse to make it right, it reveals a darker side of our lives that is still in need of God’s grace.

If we see someone in leadership who makes a mistake, instead of looking for a way to humiliate them, we should confront them in love and seek to help them overcome their mistake. And if we are the leader who makes a mistake, we should be quick to acknowledge it, readily confessing it as sin. Then we can grow from the mistake into better leaders.

Lord, help us see our own faults and help us overcome those faults through the power of Your Holy Spirit. Amen.

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Dr. Terry W. Dorsett serves at the Executive Director of the Baptist Convention of New England. He has been a pastor, church planter, denominational leader and author in New England for more than 20 years. He is a happy husband, a proud father and adoring grandfather. He is a cancer survivor and believes that God works powerfully through times of suffering. He writes extensively and you can find all of his books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Dr.-Terry-W.-Dorsett/e/B00405U4NY

Qualities of Ineffective Leadership

James 4:10 Humble yourselves before the Lord and He will lift you up.

John 3:30 He must become greater; I must become less.

It has often been said that everything rises and falls on leadership. Effective leaders understand this. They realize that it is their efforts to lead well that make a difference in how effective their organizations are. They also realize that if things are not going well, they must look inside themselves to see what they can do as leaders to make things better. They are not afraid to admit their own weaknesses or address those weaknesses head on through additional training and personal growth so they can be the most effective leaders possible.

Unfortunately, not all those in leadership positions are effective leaders. It is not unusual for ineffective leaders to be elevated to leadership positions. It may be that they simply hung around long enough until someone finally put them into a leadership role, without really considering if they had the right skills to be an effective leader. It may be that they manipulated things behind the scenes to get into leadership, and people did not realize their inadequate leadership style until it was too late. Sometimes, they were the only person willing to lead, even though it really was not what they wanted to do. Regardless of how ineffective leaders get into leadership positions, once they are there, they seldom want to give up their positions. Because they are ineffective leaders, instead of rising to the occasion and leading their organization well, they fumble the leadership ball and keep the organization paralyzed. When confronted with the obvious challenges that come from their ineffective leadership, instead of looking at their own leadership efforts and seeking to improve as leaders, they take the exact opposite approach, they blame everyone else. Even though most people accept that everything rises and falls on leadership, ineffective leaders find ways to blame other people for their own leadership failures. They think the leadership rules do not apply to them.

The one thing ineffective leaders are often effective at, is making their arguments for why it is someone else’s fault, sound really good. They are able to convince just enough people that it is someone else’s fault to keep themselves in leadership. But eventually, people get tired of hearing excuses. At some point people start realizing the problem is not with everyone else, but the problem is with the leader. Once peoples’ confidence in a leader erodes, it is very challenging to ever get that confidence back. What was a long slow decline can quickly become a dangerous cliff the organization is tittering on. If leadership does not change immediately, the organization is unlikely to survive the fall off of the cliff.

What does this mean for those of us who are leaders? It means that if things are not going as well as we would like, instead of blaming others, we should look ask God to help us to be the kind of effective leader that moves our organization forward in tangible and healthy ways. We must resist the temptation to play the blame game and instead look for ways to lead through the challenges and see the organization we lead emerge on the other side of challenges healthier and more vibrant than ever. That is what effective leaders do.

Lord, help us not to play the blame game. Help us to honestly evaluate our own leadership style and adjust our activities in healthy ways. Amen.

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Dr. Terry W. Dorsett serves at the Executive Director of the Baptist Convention of New England. He has been a pastor, church planter, denominational leader and author in New England for more than 20 years. He is a happy husband, a proud father and adoring grandfather. He is a cancer survivor and believes that God works powerfully through times of suffering. He writes extensively and you can find all of his books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Dr.-Terry-W.-Dorsett/e/B00405U4NY