Thursday, April 10, 2014

Using Our Spiritual Gifts Effectively

When I first moved to New England to pastor a Baptist church, I was surprised to learn that the majority of my church members were from non-Baptist backgrounds. They were drawn to the church by the solid Bible teaching and the rich fellowship, not by denominational connection. Twenty years later, though still very loyal to my own denomination, I have become quite comfortable serving in inter-denominational situations that are common in New England. I think this is a skill most pastors are going to have to gain for effective ministry in the years to come.

One of the issues I had to overcome was the vast differences of opinion on how the spiritual gifts should be applied to church life. I had a set idea of what I thought the spiritual gifts were and how they should be used. Some members of my little church had vastly different views. Many of the members had no understanding of the gifts at all. When I tried to push my ideas onto the congregation, the push back I got was that my views were based on my denominational background, not on scripture. Though that challenge stung, on reflection, I found it to be true. I decided to rethink the issue based on scriptures instead of a pre-written statement of faith produced by any man-made denomination. Many of my views remained the same. Some changes a little. Some changed a lot. Over the years I have continued to refine my understanding of the gifts based on scripture. In the process I have created numerous Bible studies to help address this issue in the churches I have served. Now I have put all of what I have learned together into a new book entitled “Teaming Up: Using Our Spiritual Gifts Effectively.”

This book is useful for both individual study and small groups. The premise of the book is that our understanding of spiritual gifts must flow from a Biblical basis and emphasize how the gifts work together for the greater effectiveness of the church. Though it is impossible to completely remove my denominational position, after so many years of working in inter-denominational situations, I think the book is one of the more balanced on the subject.

All the proceeds from the book will be used to help my youngest son become a missionary. He has already spent 78 days in Haiti working in an orphanage last summer and will spend four months in Thailand in the fall helping with faith-based economic development programs. He will then return to the U.S. to finish another three semesters of college before launching his missionary career. Your purchase will not only be a blessing to your own study of scripture, but it will help him pursue his missionary passion.

You can find both the print and e-book versions at this link:

It would be a great blessing if you would “share” the Amazon link on your Facebook page or on twitter or other social media outlets.

If you are interested in any of my other books, you can find them at this link:



What others are saying about Teaming Up: Using Our Spiritual Gifts Effectively:
Dr. Terry W. Dorsett forthrightly approaches this controversial subject with a conversational style.  He faithfully applies scriptural concepts with sincere convictions.  He understands that spiritual gifts are not for enjoyment or entertainment but for the enrichment of the body of Christ.  Read this book to be inspired and instructed and to increase your effectiveness as a believer.  I commend it to you!
Dr. Franklin L. Kirksey, author of Sound Biblical Preaching: Giving the Bible a Voice
 and Don’t Miss the Revival! Messages for Revival & Spiritual Awakening from Isaiah.


Terry Dorsett has written a practical and insightful study on the purpose and practice of spiritual gifts. Dr. Dorsett applies his rich Biblical knowledge to this issue, with a warm and user-friendly style that allows everyone to gain a greater depth of understanding. Whether used in a small group or as an individual study, everyone who opens this book will be greatly encouraged. Churches and individual Christians alike will benefit from the study of the spiritual gifts, and Teaming Up: Using Our Spiritual Gifts Effectively is just the resource they need.

Rev. Michael Duncan, Pastor and Author
From Vision to Victory

Terry Dorsett does a thorough job of providing both a good overview of this complex subject and great questions for discussion. Using this book in small groups should provide opportunity for greater learning and use of the gifts God gives His people!"

Rev. Joel L. Rissinger
Lead Pastor - Mill Pond Church
Author of "The Crucified Church"

Teaming Up: Using Our Spiritual Gifts Effectively is very thorough and explains in practical terms how our spiritual gifts can be used effectively in our Christian walk. The book uses both scripture and questions, which lead to thought provoking conversations. The section on the gift of service was particularly good. In that chapter Terry Dorsett reminds us that "because the person with the gift of service is often the first person to volunteer for everything, they may become involved in so many different ministries that none of them can be done well." This is important. I would use this book in developing leaders and encouraging young adults to find their place in the church body.

Captain Kimberly DeLong
The Salvation Army

No responsible church leader would dare question the crucial, all important role of the Holy Spirit in the life and operation of the local church. To do so would be to strike at the very heartbeat of the Body of Christ. Whether the individual—the first unit of the church—or the Body as a whole, at every level the church is dependent on the Holy Spirit for energy, knowledge, and leadership. Sadly, many congregations are yet to realize the powerful benefits of the Spirit’s presence and operation, benefits that extend to God-glorifying vision, growth, and vitality. Dr. Terry Dorsett has taken an enlightening step toward correcting such church-based deficiencies.

In his book, Teaming Up: Using Our Spiritual Gifts Effectively, Dorsett explores the ministry of the Holy Spirit to the church from the perspective of the Spirit’s equipping work in believers through spiritual gifts. Asking that readers set aside the numerous viewpoints related to spiritual gifts and approach the subject with an open mind, Dorsett provides a fresh and thoroughly biblical look at how each gift is intended to build the church by strengthening believers through effective, mutual ministry. This he accomplishes with skill and clarity.

Dorsett’s years as an instructor are clearly evident in this book. He has created an interactive workbook that is at the same time engaging and instructive. Always giving weight to a wealth of Scripture references, readers are encouraged to respond to questions and concepts that build an undeniable case for the discovery and use of spiritual gifts as the church’s primary ministry tools. True to the book’s title, Dorsett is careful to not only direct the reader conceptual truth, he demonstrates in very practical terms how to utilize the Spirit’s gifting in very effective ways within the Body of Christ.

Teaming Up: Using Our Spiritual Gifts Effectively is a must read for individuals believers and groups of believers. It is not an overstatement to say that this workbook should be studied as standard curriculum for entire churches that wish to grow on the most scriptural basis possible. The book is readable, challenging, and highly recommended.
Dr. Gerald Roe, Chair of the Department of Intercultural Studies, North Greenville University
and author of Where Would Jesus Go to Church


Dr. Dorsett’s latest book is a great introduction to the gifts of the Holy Spirit. His years of experience in dealing with new believers and small groups shines through as he tackles subject material that is often neglected on one hand, or over emphasized on the other; all the while staying well within the bounds of Baptist theology. Its interactive style plays well with small groups, or individuals, looking for a basic Biblical understanding of spiritual gifts. If you want to train members of your congregation, and encourage dialog, if you want to edify, and build up the Body, and Bride of Christ through the gifts of the Holy Spirit, this would be a good source to turn to.

Russell C. Lambert, President
Life Passage Ministries
Merrill, Oregon

In his latest book, Teaming Up: Using our Spiritual Gifts Effectively, Dr. Terry Dorsett offers some very helpful analysis on the Biblical subject of spiritual gifts. The scriptural truths concerning spiritual gifts has often been convoluted and even corrupted.  But in each lesson in this book, Dr. Dorsett brings clarity and understanding to this topic.  Rather than declaring war on opposing viewpoints, he carefully examines each spiritual gift mentioned in the New Testament.  And in the process, he convinces all of us as believers to ascertain our area of spiritual giftedness and what our function is in the body of Christ.  My fellow-believer, you should read this book!

David E. Owen
Preacher, Pastor, Evangelist


Spiritual disciplines and spiritual gifts are often the most overlooked and underutilized aspect of the daily Christian walk. If we are striving to be more like Christ then understanding these principles to be more like Him and helping others to be more like Him is essential. Do not let the brevity of this work fool you. Dr. Terry Dorsett does an amazing job at unpacking what spiritual gifts are, how to better understand them and practical ways to apply them to your daily living. This book has the potential to change your relationship with Christ and others in a real and dynamic way.

John Rowe, M.Div., M.S.W.
Hospice Chaplain

In his book, “Teaming Up: Using Our Spiritual Gifts Effectively,“ Dr. Terry W. Dorsett takes on one of the most important subjects in the Bible, the Holy Spirit, and specifically the gifts of the Holy Spirit. It is sometimes a confusing topic to understand, even among mature Christians, but Dr. Dorsett writes with clarity and wisdom about this topic.

What I think is most beneficial in the book is that he tackles hard questions concerning the gifts of the Holy Spirit such as,  the difference between natural abilities and spiritual gifts, how do we receive our gifts and why and how to properly use spiritual gifts. Dr. Dorsett reminds us, least we become prideful, that our gifts are from God and to be used for His purpose in building up the church.

What is the difference between most of us and the spiritual giants that we read about in Christian biographies? Why are we lacking in power, purpose, and persistence in making an impact in our churches and this world today? Why do ministers often feel empty, tired and spiritually dried up? The answer to all of these questions are related to the filling of the Holy spirit and the proper use of recognizing and using the spiritual gifts that God has so graciously given us.

Dr. Dorsett helps to engage his readers by explaining the Biblical truths concerning spiritual gifts and then asking the reader questions. Questions that all of us need to ask ourselves if we want to be used of God and effect in His service. Using our spiritual gifts will bring us joy and fulfillment, and will bring glory to God and a lasting impact on our world.
If you want to use your spiritual gift effectively, I encourage all Christians to read this book and apply the truths so you can team up with God to bring Him glory and this world more truth and light. I highly recommend this much needed book.

Dennis J. Hester, editor and compiler of, Holy Desperation, How to Find God When You Need Him Most


Terry Dorsett has written a much needed book on spiritual gifts and how the gifts function in the local church. He deals thoroughly with issues from confusion about spiritual gifts to the various gifts that function in the church. It is like an encyclopedia on spiritual gifts and will be a great resource for everyone desiring to know how to use spiritual gifts effectively and the impact that spiritual gifts can have in the ministry of the local church.

Steve Foster, Senior Pastor
First Baptist Church
Snellville, Georgia

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Victory over Cancer and the Will of God

As my regular readers know, I was recently diagnosed with colon cancer. Since the diagnosis it has been a whirlwind of tests, procedures, and doctor’s appointments that resulted in major surgery, several days in the hospital and now recovery at home. Though there has been pain in the journey, all along the way I have been carried by the peace of Christ and the prayers of the saints of God.

The doctor recently called with some good news. They had sent tissue samples off to a lab for testing after my surgery. All the samples came back clean. The cancer was contained in the colon and did not spread. So when they cut out that part of my colon, they got all the cancer and I am now cancer free. For that I am grateful, and for that God deserves the praise.

The same day that I received the wonderful news that my cancer was gone I also heard some discouraging news that a dear friend’s cancer markers had gone up instead of down. Even as I rejoiced that my own situation was now much better, I wept knowing that hers was getting worse. I asked God why He would let me off so easy but allow Margie to suffer even more. That is a question that often haunts me as I try to minister to people in this sin cursed world.

It may be easy for those who do not know Margie to conclude that I must somehow have more faith, or be more spiritual, or somehow more deserving of a cure from cancer. But those would be wrong conclusions. Margie and her husband served alongside us for many years when we were church planting missionaries in Vermont. The villages we served were similar in size and our sacrifices equal. If anything, she has sacrificed more because I eventually moved to a bigger town and my ministry grew as a result, but she and her husband have remained in a small village sharing the love of Jesus with a fairly unresponsive community. I know Margie and her husband to be people of intense prayer and great faith. They are surrounded by a remarkable prayer team who pray against her cancer regularly. And yet her cancer remains while mine is gone. It is not a matter of one being more spiritual than another or one having greater faith than the others. It is simply a matter of the will of God.

I confess I do not understand the ways of God as He makes His will known to us. I confess I do not always like the way God does things, especially in times like this. But I do trust Him. He knows what He is doing and somehow, all of this pain works out for good to those who love God and are called to His purposes. That includes my dear friend Margie.

Rejoice with me in my victory over cancer. Give praise to God for answered prayer and for His power to overcome anything. Then pray for Margie in her ongoing fight and ask God to help her experience the same victory.


And the next time we see someone struggling more than us in our church or community, we must be careful not to assume they are somehow less spiritual or holy than us. They may be far more intense in their prayer time and level of faith, but for reasons that only God knows and understands, He has allowed them to walk through a trial of fire deeper than us.  They need our support, love and understanding, not our dark thoughts and judgmental attitudes. Let us pray. Let us love each other. Let us wonder in the ways of God and trust Him above all things. Amen.

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Even Cancer Can Be Good

I have been blessed to be a fairly healthy person. I rarely have to go to the doctor. I walk a lot. I enjoy hiking the mountain near my home. Many people think I am ten years younger than I really am.

Imagine my shock when I found out I have cancer. Recently I had to go through a battery of medical tests to check out something I thought was minor. When I went back to the doctor to hear all the reports, I assumed he would say everything was fine. When he started talking, somewhere in the conversation he used the "C" word for the first time. As he kept talking, I realized what he had said and stopped him mid-sentence. "Are you saying I have cancer," was my shocked question. "Yes, but we think we caught it in the early stages," was his reply. And suddenly, my whole life changed.


In the two weeks since then, I have been poked, prodded, stuck, and tested more times than the rest of my life combined. I have had to drink nasty stuff to prepare for various procedures, take various medicines, and meet with doctor after doctor after doctor. I have surgery on Friday.


Being a planner who schedules out his life months in advance, this has played havoc with my carefully made plans. I had to cancel my participation in two back to back important conferences and adjust a whole month on the calendar to make time for recovery. Though I have done all that I could to prepare, I am extremely mindful that I am NOT in control of this situation. Which makes the whole experience overwhelming since I like to be in control. But one thing that keeps coming back to me is that God has this whole thing under control. God has not had to cancel any meetings or change any plans because this whole thing was on His schedule since before the foundation of the world.


Everything God does has a purpose and a plan, therefore, I know this is part of that purpose and plan. Romans 8:28 continues to come to mind: "We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to His purpose." All things, even cancer, work together for our good if we love God and are following His purposes for our lives.


I do love God, not because I am some super spiritual person, but because God first loved me (Romans 5:8, John 3:16). In God's wonderful grace He called me to Himself (Ephesians 1:4-5, 2 Thessalonians 2:13). How could I do anything but love God back once He opened my eyes to His amazing grace, love, forgiveness and divine plan? Since I love God and am called to His purposes, then God has committed Himself to making sure that everything that happens in my life ultimately works out for good. That brings a lot of comfort and peace into this very chaotic situation. Though there may be pain in the process, ultimately, this will all work out for good. I do not know exactly what the future holds, but I know Who holds the future, so I face Friday, and all that follows, with a confidence that it will be good.




Monday, March 24, 2014

Where is the Love? A Study of Love – Part 2

Introduction:
Last week my son-in-law wrote a guest post addressed two types of love. I wanted to follow up his post with a discussion of two other types of love. You can read Logan’s post here.

It often feels like we live in a world full of haters. Everywhere we look we see hate. It is on the nightly news. It destroys families. It ends friendships. There is no shortage of hate around us. Though we all want is to be loved but it seems like real love is harder to find than ever before.

God has a lot to say about love in the New Testament. The English word LOVE in the New Testament was actually 4 different Greek words, each symbolizing a different kind of love.

The Four Kinds of Love
                           στοργή – storgē
The love family members have for each other.
                           φιλία – phileo
The love good friends have for each other.
                           ἔρως – érōs
The love people have for each other when they are sexually attracted to each other.
                           ἀγάπη – agape
The love that is willing to sacrifice everything for someone else’s good.

In a previous post we discussed storgē love and phileo love. Just to review. Though those two types of love can be found in many place, the church is a natural place to learn about how to have healthy families and good friendships.

Now we turn our attention to the other types of love: érōs love and agape love.

ἔρως – érōs love
                           Eros is the Greek word used to refer to sexual feelings a person may have for someone else. This is the same word from which we get the word “erotic.”
                           Though many people think of sex was something that is dirty or bad, we must remember that God created SEX and at the right time and in the right situation this is a wonderful kind of love.
                           But in the wrong time and place and with the wrong person, this kind of love can really hurt. The reason that eros love can hurt is because each time we have sex we give a piece of ourselves away. We can never get those pieces of ourselves back, so when we give ourselves to the wrong people at the wrong time and in the wrong situations, it rips us apart.
                           Sometimes we feel like we love someone and so we give ourselves to them but then realize we did not love them after all. We both get hurt even though we did not mean to hurt anyone. Other times we find out that the person to whom we gave ourselves to never really loved us anyway and that really hurts. Even if they did love us at first, if they stop loving us, it can hurt too.
                           Why is it that we can be so sure we love a person at first, but later realize that we do not?
                           Typically girls think with their hearts, so they “feel” like they love some guy and give themselves to him. But after they get to know the guy better, their brain tells them he was not the right one after all. Girls need to learn to think with their brains first instead of their hearts.
                           Typically guys think with “something” a little lower than their hearts and they lust after a girl thinking that lust is the same as love. Most of the time once they satisfy their lustful craving, they realize they do not love the girl as much as they thought and the relationship ends. Guys need to learn the difference between lust and love, which also requires using their brains more than other parts of their anatomy.
                           This is why God gave us some rules about how to use eros love correctly. Many people think God gave us these rules because He is a cosmic killjoy who does not want us to have any fun. In reality, God was trying to spare us a lot of unnecessary pain and heartache in life.

How do we avoid the pain eros love can create?
                           1. Do not rush into sexual relationships too early.
                           Song of Solomon 3:5 - . . . . do not stir up or awaken love until the appropriate time.
                           Our bodies may be ready and willing at 11 or 12 years old, but emotionally we are never ready until much later. Our hearts may think we are ready after two or three weeks of dating, but rarely can we really know a person well in that length of time. There is a right time and place for eros love and when people rush into it quickly, it always ends badly. It takes time to really think, not just feel a rush of emotion. It takes time to know the difference between lust and love.
                           2. Keep ourselves pure until God gives us the one person whom will be our marriage partner for the rest of our lives.
                           Hebrews 13:4 - Marriage is honorable and the marriage bed is undefiled. But the immoral will be judged.
                           Sex is God’s wedding gift to each of us. When we give that gift to someone other than our spouse, something wonderful becomes defiled. If a person is not willing to make the commitment to marriage, then they are not yet emotionally ready for this kind of love. This goes against what our culture tells us, but as Christians, we are to follow a culture of the Kingdom of God, not of the world. The culture of the world has many ideas about eros love that are grossly inaccurate.
                           For example, one inaccurate thing our culture says about sex is living together before marriage. It is common in our culture for people to move in together before marriage as a way to test things out (60-70% of couples do this). However, statistics show us that this actually does not improve their current relationship nor the survival rate of their later marriage. Researcher Aaron Ben Zeev has stated that “Many studies have found that premarital cohabitation is associated with increased risk of divorce, a lower quality of marriage, poorer marital communication, and higher levels of domestic violence.” This is not a Christian study trying to prop up God’s standards for marriage. It comes from a secular source, yet demonstrates that God was right all along.
                           However, just having a wedding does not guarantee we will not be hurt by eros love either. Far too many people put a lot of time into planning a wedding, but very little into planning how their relationship will be after marriage. For eros love to work the way it should, we should spend time investing in storge and phileo love that we talked about in our last post. We must take time to become friends with a person and let them meet our families. If we cannot be good friends, how will we be good lovers? If we cannot work out our family issues before marriage, why do we think we will be able to after marriage?
                           Though each kind of love is different than the others, they are often intertwined in our minds and hearts so we can have the best relationships possible. Better to learn this truth now than later, and save ourselves a lot of heartache.

αγάπη - Agápē love
                           The final kind of love we want to discuss is agape love. The Greek word Agápē (αγάπη) is used to refer to a love so deep that it will sacrifice anything for the good of the other person. This is the kind of love that causes a parent to jump in front of an oncoming car to save his or her child. This is the kind of love that causes a person to give up his or her successful career to care for a disabled relative. This is the kind of love that causes a soldier to jump on a grenade to save his entire squad. Very few people ever achieve this kind of love toward others.
                           This is also the kind of love that God showed us by allowing His Son Jesus to die on the cross for our sins.
                           Romans 5:8 -But God proved his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
                           Christ did not die for us when we were perfect and living right. Christ had already died for us while we were still mired in our sin. Christ knew what we could be, so He overlooked what we were and loved us in spite of ourselves. God’s agape love for us is so powerful that even if we have misused eros love, God still holds us close to His heart. God sees us at our worst and loves us anyway. Never question God’s love because God has already proved His love to us.
                           God is the essence of true love.
                           John 3:16 - For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.
                           We must decide how we will respond to God’s love letter (the Bible) to us and how we will deal with His greatest act of affection toward us (the cross). Will we accept God’s love and make the commitment to love Him back? Will we allow God’s love to flow in us and through us and carry away the pain of our past mistakes? Only by accepting God’s agape love can we ever hope to show the highest level of love to those around us.

Conclusion:
                           We can avoid a lot of pain in our lives if we follow God’s rules for using eros love.
                           Though all forms of love are important in our lives, understanding and receiving God’s agape love is the most important love lesson we can ever learn.
                           If we have not yet accepted God’s love, today is the day to repent of our sins, ask God’s forgiveness and commit ourselves to receiving and sharing His love.

                           If we have already done that but allowed our love to grow cold, today is the day to rekindle the fire of our devotion to Him.

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Where is the Love? A Study of Love – Part One - Guest Post by Logan Loveday


Introduction:
Have you ever heard the popular song by Black Eyed Peas called “Where is the Love?” The question that song asks is one that many people ask. One reason we struggle to understand what love is, is that people often think that all love is the same. But to really understand what love is we have to realize that there are four different kinds of love. The New Testament reveals those different kinds of love through the use of four different Greek words.

The four kinds of love found in the New Testament:
                           στοργή – storgē
                           φιλία – phileo
                           ἔρως – érōs
                           ἀγάπη – agape

I just want to talk about the first two types of love in this post.

1.     στοργή – storgē love
                           This love is a “familial love” and is characterized by affection and the ability to transcend discriminating factors.
                           It is the love of parents toward their offspring and vice versa. Ephesians 6:1-4, Proverbs 22:6, Colossians 3:20-21, 1 Timothy 5:8
                           Many examples of family love are found in scripture: such as the love and mutual protection among Noah and his wife, their sons and daughters-in-law in Genesis, the love of Jacob for his sons, and the strong love of the sisters, Mary and Martha in the gospels, had for their brother Lazarus.
                           Family was a vital part of ancient Jewish culture.
                           In the 10 Commandments God charges his people to: “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.” Exodus 20:12
                           One great example of this type of love is found in the relationship of the prodigal son and his father.
                           Healthy families always love each other no matter what. They may disagree with each other and have different opinions, but they must continue to love each other.
                           Parents may not always like their children’s behavior, but they are always to love and care for their children. Parents may have to punish their children in order to teach them right from wrong, but they must never stop loving them. When children do not have this type of love, it influences all the other relationships in a negative way.

2.     φιλία – phileo love
·        This love is typically what you would find between friends and includes the strong bond and commitment of deep friendship.
·        Jesus had a lot to say about Friendship
·        John 15:12-15 “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.”
·        God gives us this advice when it comes to choosing Friends
·        Proverbs 12:26 “One who is righteous is a guide to his neighbor, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.”
·        Proverbs 13:20 “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.”
·        Proverbs 14:6-7 “A scoffer seeks wisdom in vain, but knowledge is easy for a man of understanding. Leave the presence of a fool, for there you do not meet words of knowledge.”
·        Proverbs 22:24-25 “Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.”
·        1 Corinthians 15:33 “Do not be deceived: Bad company ruins good morals.”
·        If we have Phileo love, it will impact how we treat our friends
·        Luke 6:31 “And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.”
·        Romans 12:10 “Love one another with brotherly affection. Out do one another in showing honor.”
·        Ephesians 4:29-32 “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
·        Colossians 3:12-14 “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.”
·        Proverbs 11:14 “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.”
·        Proverbs 17:17 “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”
·        Proverbs 19:20 “Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.”
·        Proverbs 27:17 “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.”
·        This kind of love does not happen overnight. It takes both a commitment of time and work for it to develop. But as a friendship grows stronger, we develop bonds that last a lifetime. Once we have this type of love for our friends, we are often loyal to them even when they don’t deserve it.
·        Sadly, some people never develop this type of friendship and therefore they will never know phileo love.

Conclusion:

Experiencing these two types of love is one of the reasons why it is important to be part of a local church. The body of Christ should be a healthy incubator for both of these types of love. Family love and friendship love should naturally spring forth in the “family” of Christ in which we have “brothers,” “sisters,” and eternal friends.