Tuesday, February 27, 2018

The Importance of Fathers

Proverbs 1:8-9 Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction, and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. They will be a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck.

Kody Stanley, a high school Junior and a football player at Berryhill High School, Tulsa, Oklahoma, recently tweeted that in his circle of friends more boys were growing up with a pet than with a father who lives at home with them. While I do not if that is statistically accurate across the nation, I did find one non-footnoted source that said 40% of white boys, 50% of Hispanic boys 60% of African American boys are growing up without a good father figure in their lives. I realize this is a subjective statement because how does one define what a good father figure is. But however one defines it, I think many of us would agree that far too many boys are growing up not really knowing how to become healthy young men. This is often problematic for them academically, socially, economically, emotionally and spiritually.

Thank God for all the single moms out there doing their best to raise good sons. And many of those moms are succeeding greatly and should be congratulated. But I would imagine most of those moms would agree that it would have been a lot easier if there had been a good father figure in their sons’ lives. Boys need good men to show them how to transition from childhood to adulthood in responsible and healthy ways.

For those of us who are fathers and grandfathers, we must do whatever it takes to be that good example for our sons and grandsons. And when necessary, for our nephews, and for our neighbors’ sons, and for the friends of our own sons who might not have a good father figure in their lives. We may not have the answers to all their questions or be able to solve all their problems, but we can set an example for how to be a good man. And that example may rescue a generation of young men from lives that might be far more difficult than they should be.

Lord, help men to be good examples to the next generation. Amen.

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Dr. Terry W. Dorsett serves at the Executive Director of the Baptist Convention of New England. He has been a pastor, church planter, denominational leader and author in New England for more than 20 years. He is a happy husband, a proud father and adoring grandfather. He is a cancer survivor and believes that God works powerfully through times of suffering. He writes extensively and you can find all of his books at:



Tuesday, February 20, 2018

Learning to be Slow to Speak

James 1:19 Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak . . .

I went to get my haircut the other day. As I sat down in the chair the lady asked me the typical introductory questions about how I was doing and what I going to do for the weekend. Before I could give an answer she proceeded to tell me everything she was doing for the weekend and all the things going on in her life. I’m pretty sure she did not take a breath for at least 15 minutes! Somewhere during her babbling, I realize she wasn’t actually interested in hearing anything I had to say. She just asked me those questions as a springboard for her to talk. And talk she did.

After I paid my bill and left, the experience did make me wonder if that is the way I am towards others. When they come to my office with a problem, do I spend too much time talking and not enough time listening? When people come to me with their problems, do I really hear what they are saying or am I too busy thinking of what I want to say when it is my turn to talk? Many of us struggle with this in our lives. We speak more than we listen. And it is not very helpful to those who really need to share their burdens with us.

The next time we ask someone how they are doing or what their week has been like, perhaps we should actually listen to what they say. Perhaps we should try hard to engage them in a real conversation about their needs instead of trying to turn the conversation to something about us. We may be amazed at the difference being slow to speak makes in our relationships. 

Lord, help us be a listening ear to those who need a friend. Amen.
  
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Dr. Terry W. Dorsett serves at the Executive Director of the Baptist Convention of New England. He has been a pastor, church planter, denominational leader and author in New England for more than 20 years. He is a happy husband, a proud father and adoring grandfather. He is a cancer survivor and believes that God works powerfully through times of suffering. He writes extensively and you can find all of his books at:


Tuesday, February 13, 2018

Personality Types Impact Ministry

1 Corinthians 12:4 There are different kinds of spiritual gifts, but the same Spirit is the source of them all.

Imagine my surprise when I took a personality test and learned that only 4% of the population in the United States share my personality. My wife on the other hand, discovered she has the most common personality type in the nation. All these years I thought I was the "normal" one and she was the "weird" one. What a shock to learn I had it backwards. Of course, my wife was not at all surprised. She always knew I was the nut in the family! Though we often joke about our personality differences, the reality is that we are indeed two different people. The way God designed our personalities impacts how we view the world around us and how we relate to other people, situations and stimuli in our daily life experiences.

Our personalities impact us far more than we may realize. This is not only true in marriage, but it is also true in ministry. Some people are uniquely designed to be leaders of mega-churches. Others are uniquely designed to be Christian counselors. Some are uniquely designed to lead worship. There is no question in my mind that God has uniquely designed me to lead a denominational agency that is making a difference across New England. When we can discover how God has wired us, and then can function in that knowledge, it can make a real difference in our lives. When we try to be something that we are not, in only leads to frustration and confusion. And often it also leads to failure.

It is very tempting to look at others and try to imitate them. But that normally leads us to an emotional dead end. Even if we can fake it for a while, we know deep inside that it is just not who we are. At some point we burn out because we are not functioning in a way that God designed us. But when we can stop trying to be someone else, and rejoice in how God made us, and use that unique design to serve God faithfully, then we are energized and excited in whatever path that takes us. We must realize that no particular personality is "better" than another. Likewise, no specific ministry is more important than another. It takes all personality types, and all types of ministry, to make everything work out in a healthy and balanced way. So stop pretending to be someone else and rejoice in how God made you and serve in a way that is fulfilling and meaningful without comparing yourself to someone with a different personality. Be the best YOU that you can be knowing that the Spirit of God likes how He designed you.

Lord, help us to know ourselves and serve in ways that You designed us for. Amen.

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Dr. Terry W. Dorsett serves at the Executive Director of the Baptist Convention of New England. He has been a pastor, church planter, denominational leader and author in New England for more than 20 years. He is a happy husband, a proud father and adoring grandfather. He is a cancer survivor and believes that God works powerfully through times of suffering. He writes extensively and you can find all of his books at: