How to Have Healthy Non-Romantic Relationships With the Opposite Sex

A Bible based guided discussion for young adults developed by Dr. Terry W. Dorsett.

Introduction:
• The differences between boys and girls sometimes drive us crazy and sometimes draw us together. But God has made us so that we need each other.
• Though we often think of a boy/girl relationship in terms of romance, people of the opposite sex can also choose to be friends without all the drama that romance often causes.
• However, when we have friendships of the opposite sex, there is always the danger of our hormones getting carried away. When that happens we can mess up a great friendship by letting it drift in a direction that is not healthy.
• There are three things we need to do to keep our non-romantic friendships with the opposite sex healthy.

1. Clearly understand what God says in the Bible about healthy relationships.

• Joshua 1:7-8 - Above all, be strong and very courageous to carefully observe the whole instruction My servant Moses commanded you. Do not turn from it to the right or the left, so that you will have success wherever you go. This book of instruction must not depart from your mouth; you are to recite it day and night, so that you may carefully observe everything written in it. For then you will prosper and succeed in whatever you do.

• Why does it take strength to follow the Bible in today’s world?
• Why does it take courage to have a good friendship with the opposite sex?
• Why does this verse say we need to carefully observe the WHOLE instruction we find in the Bible?
• What does it mean to turn to the right or the left in a friendship?
• If we stay on the correct path, what does God promise us?
• Staying on the correct path can be difficult.
• What tips does this verse give us for staying on the correct path?
a) Speak scripture verbally on a regular basis.
b) Memorize scripture on a regular basis.
c) Obey what we learn in the scriptures we speak and memorize.

2. Allow the Holy Spirit to be our best friend and comforter in times of trouble.

• John 14:16-17 - And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Counselor to be with you forever. He is the Spirit of truth. The world is unable to receive Him because it doesn't see Him or know Him. But you do know Him, because He remains with you and will be in you.

• We all need friends, especially in tough times. But sometimes if we are not careful, in a difficult time we rely TOO much on our friends and not enough on God.
• We need to remember that if we are a Christian, the Holy Spirit is with us and will help us in times of need.
• He is the Spirit of truth. The world is unable to receive Him because it doesn't see Him or know Him. But you do know Him, because He remains with you and will be in you.
• What does it mean that the Holy Spirit is the Spirit of Truth?
• Why are those who are not Christians unable to receive the Spirit?
• If we are Christians, the Holy Spirit is with us. Will we let Him comfort us in times of need?

3. Be willing to ask for help from someone who is older and wiser when we realize we are in trouble.

• Proverbs 12:15 - A fool's way is right in his own eyes, but whoever listens to counsel is wise.

• When we realize that we are in over our head, we should not be embarrassed to ask for help.
• Though our friends can be a support to us, seldom do they know how to actually help us because they are not yet wise enough to offer objective advice.
• We must find someone older and wiser than us or our friends and get good counsel from them.
• It is the foolish person who keeps doing what he/she has always done and expects different results than what happened in the past.
• Reality check: If we keep doing what we’ve always done we will keep getting the same results. We need someone to help us change so that we can move past our troubles.
• There is nothing wrong with seeing a counselor or psychologist if we need help.

Conclusion:
To keep our friendships with the opposite sex healthy, we need to do three things:
1. Clearly understand what God says in the Bible about healthy relationships.
2. Allow the Holy Spirit to be our best friend and comforter in times of trouble.
3. Be willing to ask for help from someone who is older and wiser when we realize we are in trouble.