We have all known Christians who used nice words to say mean
things. I lived in the South for a few years and would often hear people say
“Well, bless your heart.” At first, I thought people were speaking a blessing over
whomever they were talking to. I eventually realized that phrase means “I think
you are a complete idiot, but I am too nice to be honest with you.” Once I realized
the real meaning of this phrase, it did not seem very nice at all.
Then there are those Christians who find a scripture, usually
out of context, and use it as a weapon against people they disagree with. The
often start the conversation with very sweet tones of voice and deceptive smile
as they say the phrase, “the bible says” and then offer their out of context
verse. Though their charm and use of Bible verses can be disarming, just try
disagreeing with them. Suddenly the charm disappears and they make us feel like
we are going against God Himself. The
fact that they have often ignored the full teaching of scripture on whatever the
subject is does not matter to them.
Then there are the Christians who say they are “praying for
you.” But the context of the conversation, the tone of their voice, or their
body language indicates that they are actually judging us and are not likely to
be praying for us at all. Thankfully, many are genuinely praying and since most
of us can use all the prayer we can get, we are encouraged when someone says
they are praying for us. But when Christians use the “I am praying for you”
phrase as a nice way to tell us they think we are bad people, it takes away
whatever encouragement we might have gained from genuine prayer.
I am not suggesting that Christians should stop trying to be
nice. Our world has become a pretty harsh and rude place. We need more niceness
in our society, not less. I am simply observing that sometimes we Christians
like to hide behind nice words to say mean things. Most people can see right
through this as thinly disguised arrogance. They know it is not an example of
true spirituality. More importantly, God sees through it because He knows our
hearts. He will hold us accountable for using His Word, prayer and Christian
phrases in mean ways to hurt others.
Lord, help our kindness towards others be genuine and from
the heart. Keep us from using nice words as a screen for being mean to those
around us. Amen.
This devotional is from the book “Heavenly Mundane” by Dr.
Terry W. Dorsett. Dr. Dorsett has been a pastor, church planter, denominational
leader and author in New England for more than 20 years. He is a
happy husband, a proud father and adoring grandfather. He is a
cancer survivor and believes that God works powerfully
through times of suffering. He writes extensively and you can find all of
his books at:
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