The Importance of Fathers

Proverbs 1:8-9 Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction, and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. They will be a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck.

Kody Stanley, a high school Junior and a football player at Berryhill High School, Tulsa, Oklahoma, recently tweeted that in his circle of friends more boys were growing up with a pet than with a father who lives at home with them. While I do not if that is statistically accurate across the nation, I did find one non-footnoted source that said 40% of white boys, 50% of Hispanic boys 60% of African American boys are growing up without a good father figure in their lives. I realize this is a subjective statement because how does one define what a good father figure is. But however one defines it, I think many of us would agree that far too many boys are growing up not really knowing how to become healthy young men. This is often problematic for them academically, socially, economically, emotionally and spiritually.

Thank God for all the single moms out there doing their best to raise good sons. And many of those moms are succeeding greatly and should be congratulated. But I would imagine most of those moms would agree that it would have been a lot easier if there had been a good father figure in their sons’ lives. Boys need good men to show them how to transition from childhood to adulthood in responsible and healthy ways.

For those of us who are fathers and grandfathers, we must do whatever it takes to be that good example for our sons and grandsons. And when necessary, for our nephews, and for our neighbors’ sons, and for the friends of our own sons who might not have a good father figure in their lives. We may not have the answers to all their questions or be able to solve all their problems, but we can set an example for how to be a good man. And that example may rescue a generation of young men from lives that might be far more difficult than they should be.

Lord, help men to be good examples to the next generation. Amen.

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Dr. Terry W. Dorsett serves at the Executive Director of the Baptist Convention of New England. He has been a pastor, church planter, denominational leader and author in New England for more than 20 years. He is a happy husband, a proud father and adoring grandfather. He is a cancer survivor and believes that God works powerfully through times of suffering. He writes extensively and you can find all of his books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Dr.-Terry-W.-Dorsett/e/B00405U4NY

What I Have Learned Through Blogging

Eight years ago today my teenage daughter helped me launch this blog. My primary purpose for the blog was to help churches of all sizes, but especially smaller ones, reach the next generation. Most of my early posts focused exclusively on that topic. As the years have passed I’ve expanded my focus to include cultural trends that impact churches and devotional writings that rise up out of everyday experiences. I also have invited a handful of friends to write guest posts, some of whom have been so kind as to write a number of guests posts. I think having more than one writer adds depth to the blog.

Since the blog’s inception 258,364 different people have read one or more posts on the blog. Forty percent of the visitors found the blog through Facebook. Forty-five percent found it through a Google search. Fifteen percent discovered it through some other search engine. Most readers are from the United States, though the number of European visitors is rapidly growing.

There are 958 posts on the blog. Five hundred and fifty-four people “follow” the blog and read almost every post. Nearly 1,000 people have to read a post before it gets into the list of “most read” posts on the blog. All the posts have a comment section that is open for two weeks after posting and some great discussions have been had in those comment threads. On very rare occasions I have to delete a comment because someone tries to hijack the thread and talk about something unrelated, or they attack some other person or group in their comment. I am thankful that the vast majority of people are respectful on the comment section, as I think it helps strengthen the overall value of the blog.

As I reflect on what I have learned through blogging, these things come to mind:

1. Having a blog has greatly expanded the number of people I minister to. It is unlikely that I will ever preach a sermon or lead a church health seminar to more than a quarter of a million, but that is how many have read at least one post on my blog.
2. Having a blog has opened up doors for other writing assignments that I had not previously considered. I’ve written articles for magazines. I’ve write editorials for Baptist Press. I’ve written some chapters for books that other people edited and published. Almost all of those opportunities came from someone seeing something I wrote on the blog and wanting to know more. Five of my seven books developed out of things I first wrote for my blog. It really has been the gate to more significant writing.
3. Having a blog has forced me to write in a more focused way, which has also improved my verbal communication skills. Learning to write something meaningful that was short enough to read from someone’s mobile device, yet worth the time they took to read it, was a bit of a challenge. But it has many benefits that spill over into communication skills across many different formats.
4. Having a blog has allowed me to interact with a wide variety of people that I might not have connected with in any other way. I have become good friends with many people outside my natural circle of connections who have greatly enhanced my life. Many of those connections originated from the blog.
5. Having a blog has given me a larger platform for finding partners for the other ministries I serve. As a leader of a faith based non-profit, strong partners are essential for effectiveness. The blog has given me greater credibility, a larger network, and a voice that has impacted those non-profits in a very positive way though the blog is not officially sponsored or endorsed by those non-profits.
6. Having a blog with regular posts takes a lot of time. Anything worth doing takes time.
7. Having a blog is a lot of fun! It has been a great 8 years. I am looking forward to the next eight. 

What have you appreciated most about this blog? Of all the posts you have read, was one particularly impactful? What about it made it stand out? Leave your responses in a comment below. Thanks for being part of the journey!

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Dr. Terry W. Dorsett has been a pastor, church planter, denominational leader and author in New England for more than 20 years. He is a happy husband, a proud father and adoring grandfather. He is a cancer survivor and believes that God works powerfully through times of suffering. He writes extensively and you can find all of his books at:

 http://www.amazon.com/Dr.-Terry-W.-Dorsett/e/B00405U4NY

A Parable About Faith

There was once a little boy name Josh. He was fascinated by science and wanted to know how everything in the universe worked. Even as a little boy Josh drove his parents and teachers crazy by asking complicated questions that had complicated answers. When Josh grew up, he got a job in a scientific laboratory working for the famous Dr. Reason. Dr. Reason was well known for doing excellent research and producing scholarly reports on that research. Josh enjoyed working for him and as the years passed he was able to be a part of exciting research that answered so many of his questions about how the universe worked. When Dr. Reason would finish a major project, he would always publish an article in a well respected scientific journal about his work. Josh loved reading those articles. They made sense to him. The research was meticulous and the conclusions were rational. Dr. Reason was so careful in his research that no one had ever proved any of the conclusions in his articles wrong.

Josh respected Dr. Reason for the research and conclusions that those articles represented, but the longer Josh worked for Dr. Reason, the more their relationship evolved. In time, they became great friends, perhaps even best friends. Dr. Reason would remember little details about Josh and use those details to make Josh’s life more joyful. For example, Dr. Reason remembered that Josh liked chocolate cake, and so he would bring chocolate cake in when it was Josh’s birthday. Though Josh did not have quite as good a memory as Dr. Reason, over time he realized that Dr. Reason like baked chicken. So Josh would often bring a whole baked chicken to the lab for lunch and share it with Dr. Reason. Dr. Reason was also willing to help Josh when Josh needed it. When Josh’s car broke down, Dr. Reason gave him a bonus so he could get the car fixed. When Josh’s grandmother passed away, Dr. Reason came to the funeral and sat next to Josh and they cried together and found comfort in each other’s friendship. Though the scientific articles that Dr. Reason wrote meant a lot to Josh, it was only a piece of their relationship. It was all the other things that really made them friends.

One day Dr. Reason published an article in a journal about a project that he had been working on in a different laboratory. Josh had known that Dr. Reason had a number of other labs where he was doing research. Josh was vaguely aware of what was going on in those labs but did not know all the details like he did in his own lab. When the new article came out, many people did not like Dr. Reason’s conclusions. People began to come to Josh and ask him how he could continue to work for Dr. Reason when his conclusions were so faulty. Josh did his best to defend Dr. Reason’s work, but since he did not know all the details of what was being done in those other labs, he was not able to give as good an answer as he might have liked. Josh did ask Dr. Reason about it, and though Dr. Reason explained it to him, the research and work was so complex that Josh really could not fully understand it. But Josh tried to explain it the best he could to those who asked him about it.

As the controversy intensified, many people said that Josh had “blind faith” in Dr. Reason because Josh kept defending something that he could not fully explain. Others said Josh had made a “leap of faith.” But Josh was not moved from his belief in Dr. Reason’s abilities or intelligence. Josh patiently explained to others that while he was indeed exercising faith in Dr. Reason in this work that he did not fully understand, it was not “blind” faith, nor was it a “leap” of faith. From Josh’s perspective, it was only a step of faith, not a leap of faith. From Josh’s perspective, it was not blind faith, but informed faith. Josh had this perspective because Josh knew Dr. Reason really well. Dr. Reason had proved himself to Josh, not just in the scholarly research and well written articles that had been published, but also in the friendship itself.

Josh was informed enough about Dr. Reason’s work and life and that he felt comfortable continuing working for Dr. Reason even though he did not fully understand this particular situation. Others kept using words like “blind” and “leap” and Josh kept explaining that it was an informed step of faith, not a blind leap, but many people just could not understand Josh’s perspective. At first Josh was frustrated with these people, even a little angry at some of them. He even said a few things he shouldn’t have in his frustration. But in time Josh realized that these people could not understand because they did not know Dr. Reason the way he did. Though Josh really did want to know all the details and all the answers about this project that Dr. Reason was doing, he knew Dr. Reason enough to realize that in time, all would be revealed. Josh was comfortable in his informed step of faith and remained Dr. Reason’s lab assistant. Many people did not understand Josh’s choice, but Josh knew it was the right one and so he was at peace with his choice even if others did not understand.

Moral of the parable:

Many people say that Christians blindly follow a God that is only revealed in the Bible. But for Christians who have built a relationship with God, He is not just revealed in the Bible, but also in their experiences with God. The Bible shows God’s work and parts of it are very easy to understand and explain to others. Other parts are more difficult to understand and explain to others. Those who are not Christians call it blind faith or a leap of faith. But for Christians who have a personal relationship with God, it is not a blind leap of faith at all. Yes, it is faith, but it is more of an informed step of faith than a blind leap. They understand parts of the Bible very well, and they know God well through their personal experiences with Him. Their friendship with God and the parts of the Bible they do understand give them the faith to believe the parts of the Bible that might not be as easy to explain. Faith is required, but from the Christian’s perspective, it is a faith that is well founded and makes perfect sense. Others may lack the ability to understand the informed step of faith that a reflective Christian might make, but to the Christian, it makes perfect sense.

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Dr. Terry W. Dorsett has been a pastor, church planter, denominational leader and author in New England for more than 20 years. He is a happy husband, a proud father and adoring grandfather. He is a cancer survivor and believes that God works powerfully through times of suffering. He writes extensively and you can find all of his books at:

 http://www.amazon.com/Dr.-Terry-W.-Dorsett/e/B00405U4NY

Broken Beyond Healing

Proverbs 29:1 - He who is often reproved, yet stiffens his neck, will suddenly be broken beyond healing.

The mother sat in my office with her head hung low. I could barely hear her voice as she shared her story with me. Her son, who had always had a strong rebellious streak, had finally done something bad enough to land him in jail. As a result, he had lost the only good job he had ever had. He had lost custody of his daughter, the one bright spot in his life. His girlfriend was refusing to answer his calls or cooperate with his lawyer to get him out of jail. The mother sobbed "His whole life is ruined and there is no way to fix it."

Though I wish I could have offered some great words of advice that would make all that mother's pain go away, there was little I could do but listen and pray. I had known her son for years. More than once I had deep conversations with him about his life and where it was headed. He was not interested in what some "Bible thumping preacher" had to say. He was not interested in what his mother had to say. He was not interested in what teachers at school had to say. He was going to do what he wanted, when he wanted and how he wanted. And that attitude landed him in jail, jobless, alone and broken.

Several years have passed since that conversation. To the best of my knowledge, he is back in jail again. Still broken, still stubborn, still rebelling against all authority. No amount of rehabilitation, counseling or punitive action seem to impact him. From a human perspective, he is broken beyond healing.

The only thing that can turn his life around would be for him to humble himself before almighty God, repent of his sins and place all his hope on Christ alone. But so far, he does not seem interested in that road to healing. So he struggles on, angry with his situation, blaming others, hating those who he perceives as the cause of his problem. Broken beyond healing.

Though this young man's situation is probably more extreme than most, he represents so many in our culture who are under the sway of the spirit of rebellion. That spirit of rebellion has caused them so much pain but they do not seem capable of turning loose of it. Until they do, they will remain broken beyond healing.

Lord, reveal Yourself in a powerful way to those under the sway of a spirit of rebellion. Bind that spirit and replace it with the overwhelming presence of Your Holy Spirit. Show them healing that only comes in the name of Christ through faith and repentance. Amen.

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Dr. Terry W. Dorsett has been a pastor, church planter, denominational leader and author in New England for more than 20 years. He is a happy husband, a proud father and adoring grandfather. He is a cancer survivor and believes that God works powerfully through times of suffering. He has written a book about the spirit of offense that prevails in our current society. You can find all of his books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Dr.-Terry-W.-Dorsett/e/B00405U4NY

Ministry is Messy

When Jesus walked on earth He was often criticized by the religious elite for spending too much time with sinners. The way Jesus responded to these criticisms was to remind them that the healthy do not need a doctor, only the sick do. The clear implication of His metaphor was that He had come to seek and to save those who needed Him most, those who were still lost in their sin. Yet, in our modern North American culture, most churches actually spend the bulk of their energy trying to attract those who are already Christians. There are many reasons for this, but perhaps the most obvious is that Christians are the easiest to reach. They speak our church language and agree with the primary principles of our theology. But is that what Jesus did?

If we followed the example of Jesus, we would be reaching those who are not yet Christian. This is much more complicated. It takes a lot of energy and effort. It often takes a much longer period of time than we anticipated. It is almost always “messy” in a variety of practical ways.

I recall a time with I was reminded of messy aspect of reaching non-Christians. We had a large crowd for a special worship service. About half the crowd were teenagers, most of whom were from non-Christian families. Though the bulk of the teens were very focused on the worship service, a small group of young men were sitting over to the side of the sanctuary and were talking during the entire service. Two of the ladies had already gone over and attempted to quiet them, but they boys did not comply. Though I was sitting on the platform, another man was preaching, so I was watching the entire affair. About half way through the sermon they got so loud that it was becoming difficult to pay attention to the young man who was preaching. I left the platform and made my way over to where they were sitting. It was my intention to send the “leader of the pack” to a different seat and then sit with the rest of the group for the remainder of the service. Needless to say, my plan did not work out so well. The leader of the pack decided to make a scene. He said a few obscene words and drew back his arm to assault me. One of the deacons, a former Marine, immediately intervened and escorted troubled young man out of the building. I wish I could say the situation ended there, but it did not. The young man became even more belligerent in the parking lot and the deacons regretfully had to call the police to resolve the situation, not exactly the way a pastor would want a church service to end.

Reaching out to non-Christians is messy. I understand why most churches do not bother to do it. But if churches are not willing to get their hands dirty and reach out to people with problems, then who will help non-Christians find Jesus?

Dr. Terry W. Dorsett has served as a pastor, church planter, author and denominational leader in New England since 1993. He is the proud father of three adult children, a cancer survivor and the author of 8 books. You can find all of his books at http://www.amazon.com/Dr.-Terry-W.-Dorsett/e/B00405U4NY