My wife and I have three children. They are all fairly close
in age. I remember when all three of them were preschoolers, it seemed like our
entire lives revolved around feeding times, nap times and diaper changes. We
rarely had a free moment and life was always hectic. Life got a little calmer
when they were all three elementary school aged, but then the teen years came
and we had three teens at once. Life revolved around driving lessons and sports
events and how late they could stay out on a school night. That was surely a
wild period! Then they all went off to college, and suddenly, the hectic rush
was over, the house was quiet and our evenings were often free. We had entered
a new phase of life called Empty Nest.
During the time in which our kids were growing up, so many
of our choices revolved around the well-being of our children. We chose a home
in a neighborhood that was safe and in a community with lots of opportunities
for kids. We chose friends who had kids of similar ages. Because we are
Christians and our faith is important to us, many of the choices we made about
the kind of church we wanted to be part of involved our children too. If the
churches we were connected to during those years did not have programs for
children, then we started such programs ourselves. It was important to us to
pass our faith on to our children.
But when the children all left home for college, it began to
occur to us that we could live anywhere without having to think about how it
impacted the kids’ daily lives. Likewise, we could go to church anywhere, and
it did not matter what type of programs they offered for children because that
phase of our lives was over. Many Empty Nesters are tempted to start
skipping church once the kids are gone from home. Sunday often becomes a day to
play golf or engage in other recreational activities. But for us, that was not
an option, our faith is too important to us, but clearly we no longer had to be
part of the same type of churches that we once did.
We soon realized that passing our faith on to the next
generation was still important to us. Though our own children were grown, that
desire to impact the next generation remained. When my job shifted and we moved
to a different state, we still wanted to find a church that impacted the next
generation. We bought a condo near a university, where we already knew some students. We invited them to our home for a couple of Bible studies and
before we knew it, we were part of a new church being formed on the University
of Hartford campus. My wife and I are more than 20 years older than the next
oldest couple at church, but we enjoy investing our lives in the next
generation. Whether it is holding a Bible study in our home, or storing all the
church sound equipment in our garage, we still have a role to play in shaping
the next generation. For us, Empty Nest means using our free time to invest in
the lives of young adults, not riding a golf cart around a course or taking
part in some other recreational activity. Touching the lives of young adults is very meaningful to us, and
keeps us feeling young.
The need for investing in the next generation is huge.
Studies show that up to 70% of young adults will leave the church during their
college years. Empty Nesters can change that statistic by becoming
involved in churches that care about young adults. Empty Nesters can
offer to mentor, encourage, guide and teach that generation about the
importance of faith in daily life. We want to encourage other Empty Nesters who
no longer need a nursery, or a children's program, or a youth group, to
consider a new adventure. Find a church near you that reaches out to young
adults and join it. Use your life skills and experience to invest in the next
generation. And if there is no church near you that reaches out to the next
generation, become part of a core group that starts a new church on or near a
college campus. It’s a lot of work, but it’s far more fulfilling than riding a
golf cart around in circles for the next 20 years!
-----------------------------------------------
Terry Dorsett has been a pastor, church planter and
denominational worker in New England since 1993. He and his wife are the proud
parents of three adult children and one grandchild. Terry is the author of
several books including "Mission Possible: Reaching the Next Generation
though the Small Church." You can find all of Terry's books at: http://www.amazon.com/Dr.-Terry-W.-Dorsett/e/B00405U4NY
Amen to all you said about Empty Nesters!
ReplyDelete